Guest Post by Cherie Burbach, author of Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza:
Top Ten Online Dating Myths
Internet dating is a fabulous way to meet people. Even so, there are some misconceptions that keep singles from even trying to go online. Others are a bit nervous about online dating and bring an attitude of fear and trepidation to their online dating experience.
Oftentimes I hear of myths from people who have never dated online! I wonder how people who have never experienced it can give advice to singles who want to give it a whirl!
Do you have some online myths you’re holding onto? See if one of these describes your biggest online dating fear.
1. There are only losers and freaks online.
This seems to be the most popular misconception I’ve heard about online dating. The funny part is that I hear this most often from people who have never online dated!
I’ve worked with a lot of online daters and I can tell you that the people who use online dating services are regular folks who (for whatever reason) just have not met the right person yet. Maybe they’ve spent time just being single and getting to know themselves. Maybe they’ve worked too much over the years and haven’t had the time to date as much as they’d like to. Maybe they have dated quite a bit over the years but just can’t seem to find that one person that they click with.
2. It’s all about sex.
I see this used as a storyline quite a bit in Hollywood, but in real life most people (myself included) join online dating services because they want to meet someone special. They want a relationship. They aren’t in it to get a one-night stand.
3. You can’t possibly meet a soul mate with the Internet.
A few folks out there seem to think that if you go online, you are going to hook up with whoever you happen to meet, and the implication is that you are not going to meet a soul mate.
I’m here to tell you that is wrong.
Internet dating is one of the best ways to meet someone perfect for you because it introduces you to a lot of people and you can find them by searching for common interests. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a couple friends set me up over the years and at the end of the date I always wondered, “Is this who you think I should be with?” The people I met through set ups never seemed to have anything in common with me.
With Internet dating, however, I met lots of guys who shared similar interests. One of those guys turned out to be my husband, and we’ve just celebrated our five-year anniversary.
4. It’s expensive.
Some singles balk because there is generally a fee to joining most online dating sites. In my opinion, the fee is nominal when you think that you could be hanging out in bars or joining singles club and spending a lot more money than you will with an Internet dating site.
Besides that, most online daters who join paid sites seem to be more serious about finding a real relationship. All around it’s a good investment.
5. It’s not safe.
Let me be clear on this: any time you meet someone new you have to be cautious. This includes people you may meet through friends or on your own. Until you get to know someone, they are a stranger to you.
The reason Internet gets a bad rap for safety is because daters feel comfortable with their online matches after they email or talk on the phone with them first. Because they’ve had this communication, they feel they know them better than if they were meeting a complete stranger. The reality is that even with email and phone calls, your date is a stranger until you take the time to get to know them.
Internet dating actually has many safety measures that other methods of people don’t: a double-blind email system, blocking feature, and ability to communicate without ever giving out your last name or other personal information.
6. Everybody will know you are Internet dating.
One of the fears some daters have in “putting their information out there” is that someone they work with or live near will see it. They believe they will be ridiculed simply because they are online and looking for someone special.
While it’s certainly possible that people may see your profile, the reality is that the people who are looking online are the ones using the service. So if you’re worried that a coworker may see your profile, don’t tell them you are Internet dating. They probably will never look online.
7. It takes too much time.
Some daters think in order to Internet date you need hours a day to spend looking through profiles. But this is incorrect. The great thing is, once you get your profile set up, you can easily browse through emails and profiles quickly on your own time. The amount of time you spend online is up to you.
8. There are no singles in your area.
Chances are, even if you live in a small town, there will be singles you haven’t met yet online. That’s the great thing about the Internet; it introduces you to people who probably live near you that you might otherwise never have met. My husband and I had hung out at all the same places for years and it still took the World Wide Web for us to finally meet.
If you log on to a service and don’t see many people, you can always try and different service. Don’t limit yourself or give up before you’ve exhausted all your possibilities.
9. Everybody lies.
I can tell you in the 60-some guys I met online, a couple fudged the truth about their height and weight. Every single guy had a picture and only one didn’t look like his. In other words, the majority of people online don’t lie.
Sometimes it’s a matter of just wanting to be accepted. People may post a picture that isn’t quite current, or shave a pound or two off because they fear that if someone read their stats they wouldn’t want to meet them. Look beyond these things when you meet someone new. After all, it’s the innate qualities of a person that will provide the spark needed to spark a relationship.
10. You only do Internet dating if you can’t meet people any other way.
The Internet isn’t a last resort, but one of my different options for singles today. The smartest singles out there use the Internet, speed dating, lunch dating, and more to meet the right person. Why settle for just one method when they are several to try? You never which one will work best with your personality, time commitment, and location until you try.
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About the author:
Che
rie Burbach is an author, blogger, poet, crocheter, and geek. She loves football and is obsessed with anything having to do with the Green Bay Packers or Tudor history.
A passionate diabetes advocate, Cherie has written the book, 21 Simple Things You Can Do To Help Someone With Diabetes.
Cherie used her experience with meeting her husband online to pen At the Coffee Shop, a humorous look at the world of Internet dating. Cherie went on over 60 coffee dates in just six months. She met lots of great people and one of those turned out to be the guy she would marry just one year later. Cherie’s new dating book, Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza is available now.
Poets looking for a review of their book can contact Cherie’s site, Bonjour Poetry Reviews. A review and marketing assistance for poets is available.
She is the Dating Feature Writer for Suite101, staff writer for b5media, and also the author of three poetry books, including A New Dish and The Difference Now. Her latest, Father’s Eyes, has received the 2008 Editor’s Choice Award by Allbooks Review.
Readers have resonated with Cherie’s honest and inspirational “This I Believe” essay, which is the second-most popular out of over 40,000 entries on the NPR website.
For more information, please visit Cherie’s website, http://www.cherieburbach.com/, or her personal blogs: The Difference Now, Beautiful Words, Working Writers, and Ms. Dating Consultant.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/brrbach
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Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza
by Cherie Burbach
Book Website: http://internetdatingpizza.homestead.com/
Publication Date: November 2008
ISBN: 978-0-9789747-5-6 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-0-9789747-6-3 (ebook)
Genre: Nonfiction – Dating
6″ x 9″, Pages: 164
Trade Paperback
Price: $15.95
Cover Art: Cherie Burbach
Book Description:
Have you become frustrated with Internet dating? If you’ve tried online dating and given up, or even if you thought the Internet wasn’t right for you, this book will give you the courage to try again, this time armed with specific illustrations on what really works – from the profile through the dating stage. Don’t waste another minute wondering why some people seem to have Internet dating success while you’re still waiting for a response to your online ad. Through dozens of concrete examples, dating expert Cherie Burbach will show you how to write an eye-catching profile, search for, and meet the right person online.
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Ms. Burbach has graciously offered to give away 2 (two) copies of Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza. Here’s how to enter!!
- Leave a comment with an e-mail address or PaperbackSwap nickname for +1 entry (I have to be able to reach you if you win!!)
- Follow my blog for +1 extra entry
- Blog about this contest for +1 extra entry (leave a link so I can come check out your blog
- Add me to your Blog Roll for +1 extra entry (leave a link so I can come check it out!!)
- Only US/Canada Residents are eligible to win
- No P.O. Boxes
Contest will end September 15!
Cool Contest!-Liz liztapioka14[at]yahoo[dot]com
Im a follower!-Lizliztapioka14[at]yahoo[dot]com
This sounds great!pbs id jennala9I already am a followerYou are already on my blogroll(do you want each of these entries in a separate comment?)
Jenny, one post or separate are fine!
I don't have a preference!
I have been on the internet dating circuit so this book sounds like something I would like to read.I am now following you and you can check me out if you want at <a href="http://writesthoughts.blogspot.comhttp://writesthoughts.blogspot.com<br />Thanks,Stormiladystorm282001[at]yahoo[dot]com
Cool contest and very interesting post. I'm not quite sure how I feel about internet dating. Being in a relationship for the past two years, I actually don't really think about it very much at all. I do remember actually meeting some people online though – boys that I was interesting in dating once upon a time. It wasn't a total disaster.
Looks like an interesting booknancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
followernancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
Count me in!
I follow – google reader
dcf_beth at verizon dot net
Nice to see a sensible approach to online dating. Good stuff!glenysoconnell at msn dot com
Id be interested in reading thisKawaiiNeko2008 at aol dot com
I'm ready to get out there and start dating again- starting with the Internet! This will come in handy!texas_heartland84[at]yahoo[dot]com
I met my husband online!! We are so happy!I had all those fears, but my sisters made me get on and just got for it! and look what happened!!!
I've got a couple of good friends who are trying the internet dating thing with mixed results. One of them would love this book!I'm following you.melacan at hotmial dot com
I would love to be entered in your draw. Thanks.
wandanamgreb (at) gmail (dot) com
I am a follower of your blog.wandanamgreb (at) gmail (dot) com
i NEED to give this to my niece
Now this is a book i'd love to read.
I am thinking of "MAYBE" giving it a try, so this book would come in handy.
madeleine444[at]gmail[dot]com
You are on my blog roll
madeleine444[at]gmail[dot]com
I am a followermadeleine444[at]gmail[dot]com
This looks like an interesting book. jim.coyne2@verizon.net
I would like to enter.kalynnik AT yahoo DOT com
Looks like a great book. Thanks for the chance
jason(at)allworldautomotive(dot)com
I need a date …
i'd love to review this on my site for modern women! http://www.msmodern.com
she pookielocks [at] ymail [dot] com
on paperbackswap – pookielocks
following your blog
following your blog
blogged:http://www.shebecameabutterfly.net/?p=4771
blogged:
http://www.shebecameabutterfly.net/?p=4771
A co worker once told me that every girl he met online was blond and blue-eyed…lol…sounds like a great book.
I'd like to read it.
southrngal(at)gmail(dot)com
I follow your blog and you can find yourself on my blogroll here.http://dixie-afewofmyfavoritethings.blogspot.com/southrngal(at)gmail(dot)com
Tried internet dating earlier this year without much luck. I would love to get this book and see if it could give me some better suggestions.thanksbsyb100 at gmail dot com
I follow
Cool Contest!
rajikarthik@hotmail.com
follower
blogged here http://momsfocusonline.com/september-12-giveaways…
love to win thischromiumman (at) mail (dot) com
this looks like a good one to read and share.
I follow your blog.
What a great book! So many of my friends internet date. I have many reservations. I'd love to read what you say.bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
I'd love to read this.
erma.hurtt@sbcglobal.net
Happy Monday!
theyyyguy@yahoo.com
I would love a chance to win. Thank you.
This looks like such a cool book!
Kim
sunkissed212[at]yahoo.com
Would love this.rsgrandinetti@yahoo(DOt)com
Great read, great contest!
Perfect for my BFF, Thanks
chazvgo@gmail.com
Now this sounds interesting. Hmm!
This looks useful
looks like a great read
follower
follower
For those of you who did not leave an e-mail address, your entry will be disqualified!! There are quite a few of these, so don't forget to leave that important piece of info!!
I need to be able to contact you if you should win!Thanks!Jennifer
I'd love to winkgrant77@gmail.com
Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!lilyk@mail2world.com
Would love to win.
Sounds like a good book
I would like it.
donna444444@yahoo.com
follower
donna444444@yahoo.com
Sounds interesting.george ferrislittlegeorgie56@yahoo.com
Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza book, sounds like a good read.melinda.s41@gmail.com
looks like a great read
looks like a great read