So, something weird has happened. My BFF (Hi Melissa!) now knows I have a book blog and is so ecstatic and thinking I’m famous, which makes me laugh. I’ve always kept my blogging a secret from everyone, except my husband, but he doesn’t read nor does he care that I have a blog! It’s sort of been an outlet for me to get the feelings out. And, since I am a better writer than a face-to-face conversationalist, it works really well for me! I could go on and on about a book on my blog, but if you put me face-to-face with a stranger and ask me to talk about the book – I feel like a tongue-tied idiot who can’t string a sentence together.
In any case, my BFF now knows I have a blog and she seemed a bit disappointed in me that I hadn’t told her (sorry, hon!). It honestly just never occurred to me to tell people! I don’t want people I know in real life to judge or criticize my based on what I am blogging about. I blog because I love to write and it’s a personal and creative endeavor for me. I don’t want people I know in real life to judge my writing ability or how well I do or don’t do something on my blog. I am EXTREMELY self-conscious about it! Does that make any sense? Now, I love my BFF and she is my strongest supporter in anything I do, so I may have to have her stop by and say hello and maybe post a book review or two, if she’s up for it!! <
Point for Discussion:
So, I’m curious, are you a secret blogger or does your entire network of real-life friends and family know about it? Does that affect what you blog about? Are you concerned with what you are writing if you know your real-life friends and family will be reading it?
To sum up, am I ashamed to be a blogger? No, not at all. I love blogging about books! I’m just very insecure and I don’t want my real-life friends and family to judge me in a negative way! And, I know – true friends don’t judge, so I need to make that my new mantra! LOL
Oh, and Melissa, if you are reading this, you better comment and say hello!! Love ya, hun!
And, whaddya know – this happens to fall into the guidelines for the 2010 Blog Improvement Project Week 2 Goal: Pumping Up Post Titles.
I'm an in-the-open blogger, but I'm a secret Twitterer. Even my colleagues/boss know about my blog, but I try to never link my blog directly to Twitter, because much of my family, friends, and colleagues don't know I'm on Twitter, and I want to keep it that way.
I'm an in-the-open blogger, but I'm a secret Twitterer. Even my colleagues/boss know about my blog, but I try to never link my blog directly to Twitter, because much of my family, friends, and colleagues don't know I'm on Twitter, and I want to keep it that way.
Hey Jennifer, When I first started blogging I didn't tell many people either. I have now gotten to the point where I don't care what people think about me blogging. I blog because I love books and I love to tell other people my thoughts about books.
Everyone knows I blog, that doesn't mean they read it though LOL – I don't mind who sees it/reads it as I never say anything on my blog that I wouldn't in real life. But everyone's different and I know other bloggers that keep their blogs from people in RL – there's no wrong or right way, it's really up to you
Definitely a secret book blogger – only my boyfriend knows. I'm not ashamed, but like you I'm shy/insecure
Thanks for your input! I may be a bit more insecure because I actually write for a living so there's a little added pressure because I wouldn't want someone in my office looking here and thinking I'm a horrible writer!! LOL
Thanks for your input! I may be a bit more insecure because I actually write for a living so there's a little added pressure because I wouldn't want someone in my office looking here and thinking I'm a horrible writer!! LOL
This is a great post, Jen!! (And love how it worked for the BIP task, haha). I am a pretty secret blogger too, but not really because of the writing. I hate to admit it, but I am quiet about my book "nerdiness" (even though everyone knows I read a lot) because I hate being judged for that. My hubby knows of course, and my sister reads my blog (and actually thinks it's cool too, lol) and my parents too, but it's a huge secret from everyone else.I did tell one best friend and she thought it was cool, though I have yet to send her the link. But she also is a reader. I ended up mentioning it to a co-worker recently because it came up in conversation when I was talking about upcoming trips (in May) (and why go to NY so soon after a vacation a few weeks earlier in Chicago???) She sort of teased me about it later in front of other people and it totally pissed me off (on the inside, haha). But I, too, am trying to get over the whole what people think of me and just be real about who I am, which includes books and blogging.Plus a friend of mine posted a book review on facebook and I so wanted to be like "hey, I do that too!! LOL" I've been contemplating with posting on facebook either reviews or a link to my blog, but not sure yet. There's LOTS of people on there, lol.
Thanks, Jenny! I feel the same way about FB! I know A LOT of people on there and I'm little self-conscious of them judging the books I read! I used to have my PBS and Goodreads auto-post there, but then I started feeling weird, so I stopped that! I don't even have my personal FB account linked with my blog page on FB! I'm SO insecure about that!! I don't know why!! We all have different reading tastes, so why should I feel uncomfortable about what I'm reading? I don't care what others read! I'm so weird! LOL
Thanks, Jenny! I feel the same way about FB! I know A LOT of people on there and I'm little self-conscious of them judging the books I read! I used to have my PBS and Goodreads auto-post there, but then I started feeling weird, so I stopped that! I don't even have my personal FB account linked with my blog page on FB! I'm SO insecure about that!! I don't know why!! We all have different reading tastes, so why should I feel uncomfortable about what I'm reading? I don't care what others read! I'm so weird! LOL
My husband knew, of course, but I never thought to tell anyone else. He outed me to my best friend, who immediately began picking who was going to play her in the movie (like I was going to be as famous as Julie and Julia) so yay for support. My mom has a friend who's a big fan of one of the authors I was interviewing, so I told her so she could ask her friend if she had any questions. One mass email later and my mother had told every one of her friends and family. So yeah, I'm out of the closet. It worked out well though, motivating me to really edit and format things better to look more professional.
Wow! Where do I begin,First of all isn't sad what society has done to us? We have an overwhelming urge to hide our deepest passions in fear of what people may say about us. We have learned this by observing others. It is not very often that you can sit and have lunch and not over hear people constantly discussing someone else. We have come to realize that at some point we are the topics of ones conversation which in the end has left us with anxiety and fear of what they may say about us when we aren't in the room. Sharing our most honest thoughts whether about a book or real life situation has become threatening.so to my BFF Jennifer, I could not be more proud of you for being yourself and finding a way of truly being a part of what you love. Never hide who you are, you are an amazing person who I thank GOD for. You are stronger than you think. We all have dreams and tend to be the ones that hold ourselves back from those dreams. Jen I love getting together and talking about the books we read and the TV shows we watch. I am so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself, so for all you bloggers out there, go tell your BFF's if they arent proud of you its time to find a new BFF!
Jennifer I completely understand once you said you write as your career.I started blogging to help with my writing skils and had no idea about the blogging community WOW.For me it is about books, so I don't care who reads it or takes the time to judge me on how I write etc, reading and networking with others on similar interests is what makes me happy.Your best friend will totally support but I think you need to make sure to let her know the blog is for YOU not everyone unless they become a follower
Just don't give up because I love your blog.
Ha! I laughed out loud– I am a closet blogger. "Hiding" my blog from my real life is due to a lack of encouragement from family, as their opinion is that books & writing is a silly hobby. Also, I feel a little more free to be honest on my blogs. In addition to a book blog, I have a second blog that is a journey of self discovery. (Oooh,I think that will be the next post title!) So far, I've discovered that the blogging community is more supportive & encouraging than my family, and until I have the confidence to be honest about my goals with my family, I'll keep my blogging in the closet. Thank you for inadvertently helping me find a writing prompt for my next post!
What is a BFF???
I told friends and family about my blog and some days I do regret it. (Mind you, I think only one of my sisters reads my blog with any regularity — she's contributed reviews to it too; none of my friends read it, except for local bloggers who have become friends.) I can understand having reservations about telling people, anyway!Oh and your comment about becoming tongue-tied when expected to talk about books in person really resonated with me. I was recently asked for some favourites from 2009 and I couldn't think of a single book to recommend (and this isn't because I haven't read any good books in the last year)!
I'm the same way when it comes to talking about books face to face. My postman knows that I'm a book blogger and asks me for recommendations, and sometimes it catches me off guard and I'm just speechless.
My friends and family know that I blog, but I don't know how much they read it.
I'm not exactly a secret blogger, I do have the link to my site at the bottom of my personal e-mail signature, and it's listed somewhere on my facebook profile but I think only like 5 people I really "know" read what I write. I find the majority of my readers/commentors are people I've met through blog networking and I'm happy with that. I am on the other hand a secret writer of ficton. I don't tell anyone about that hobby (obviously my husband knows) and I joke with him about "when I write MY book…." but I don't expect I'll write anything good neough to be published, it's more of an outlet for myself and something I enjoy doing. Serect blogger – sorta but not intentionallysecret fiction writer – absolutely!
A few of my friends know I have a blog, but mostly I'm a secret blogger. I have the same problem that you have, the friends I tell always seem disappointed and act like I'm weird…. secret blogger- yessecret writer- yes. I really love writing, but I hate sharing it, poetry is really personal.
I haven't written in my blog in about a year, but kept it a secret from my family. Have some entries about family members (a beloved aunt, a new grandson). Only couple of real-life local friends know about it.Enjoyed reading the comments here. Didn't know there were so many secret bloggers. Must be the insecurity (I need to pick up Beth Moore's newest book!) or shyness. Thanks for opening this topic!
I thought it was only me. Thank you for starting this discussion. Hubby, sons and friends had no idea. After a few months I did start leaking "my secret". I thought my sons would say I as "too old" but when they saw that I created my site, the were amazed ! They know that I am not computer literate. They also saw a change in my mood as I am going thru some problems and they saw how happy blogging and sharing the love of books (my family aren't readers
) and since then they have been encouraging me. Now family and friends stop by occasionally but since they aren't readers they have no interest in this part of my life, and thats ok, because now I have friends who are interested in reading. CMashLovesToRead
I'm not a closet blogger nor am I "hey look at me! I'm a blogger" either. If I'm asked if I'm a book blogger, naturally I'll say yes. I don't think anyone I know stops by my book blog. Not many of my friends are readers – sad to say.
I love this discussion. I am a semi-closet book blogger. My mom and family know I blog, but they've never seen it. And my friends don't know about it. I keep my blog and twitter separate from my personal facebook and such. I'm not ashamed though, I just do it for myself, and my followers!
I love this discussion. I am a semi-closet book blogger. My mom and family know I blog, but they've never seen it. And my friends don't know about it. I keep my blog and twitter separate from my personal facebook and such.
I'm not ashamed though, I just do it for myself, and my followers!
Wow, this is an amazing thought provoking topic!I am a mostly-secret book blogger. My boyfriend and his family know. My sister knows, and my parents sort of know but have no real clue as to how much time I spend doing it. Oh, and a handful of my friends know. I refuse to link my blog to my facebook, because well, it's not something I care to have people be rude to me about, and well I know people who would rather wallow around in ignorance than pick up a book, so I just know I'm going to get put down if I put it out there that I blog about books. So yes, I'm very hesitant about coming out about blogging, as people ("friends") used to make fun of me in high school for reading books instead of well, whatever it is that normal high school kids do. And well, those kinds of hits to your self esteem don't just disappear over night.That said, my boyfriend has been very supportive of it, and well, that's one of the reasons he's a keeper.
Okay…I'm in the closet too…as a book blogger. Maybe because I started a few months ago and am not ready to tell everyone at this point. My friends and family know that I'm passionate about books…maybe soon I'll come out. Good topic! Aloha from Rob
I haven't been direct about it.. but they figure it out at some point. That being said not everyone in my family is truly positive about blogging or understands it.. Oh well. I'm having fun.
I haven't been direct about it.. but they figure it out at some point.
That being said not everyone in my family is truly positive about blogging or understands it..
Oh well. I'm having fun.
I'm a secret blogger, for the most part. My husband knows I blog but he doesn't read my blog (at least I don't think he does). He does make fun of my moniker though! Especially when I get mail addressed to "The Book Vixen". My mom knows about my blog. She didn't at first but I let her in on it and she was impressed. None of my friends know where to find my blog. I discuss books with my BFFs but they do not know my moniker or where my blog is and I like to keep it that way. Why? I don't know. I guess I like being part of a "secret society".
Hmmm…. my previous comments seem to have been eaten by Blogger, so let me try to respond to some of your posts again!!misdreynolds (aka my BFF Melissa!) – thanks for commenting!! You mean the world to me and I'm so glad to have such a wonderful and supportive friend! You are awesome!Marce – I agree about the networking! It's so great to have a place on the web where people who love what I love can gather, share and encourage each other! It's awesome! And, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere!!
Thanks for the kind words!Miel Abeille – I agree about being able to be more honest on your blog. A big thing for me is being able to accurately portray my thoughts through writing rather than the spoken word. It's so much easier for me! Hopefully your family will come to appreciate your love of all that is written! 
Hmmm…. my previous comments seem to have been eaten by Blogger, so let me try to respond to some of your posts again!!
misdreynolds (aka my BFF Melissa!) – thanks for commenting!! You mean the world to me and I'm so glad to have such a wonderful and supportive friend! You are awesome!
Marce – I agree about the networking! It's so great to have a place on the web where people who love what I love can gather, share and encourage each other! It's awesome! And, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere!!
Thanks for the kind words!
Miel Abeille – I agree about being able to be more honest on your blog. A big thing for me is being able to accurately portray my thoughts through writing rather than the spoken word. It's so much easier for me! Hopefully your family will come to appreciate your love of all that is written!
China – BFF is Best Friend Forever. We kind of made fun of it because all the teenagers are using that lingo now, but it fits, so we use it all the time now!! LOL We're kids at heart!avisannschild – Isn't it weird how we can convey our feelings by writing, but when tasked with speaking about it, we don't have a thing to say?! I'm not sure why that is! Now if someone could ask me a question and give me a little while to type up an answer and then I can read it back to them, I'd be in great shape!! LOLSuzi – I'm with you on the secret fiction writing bit!!! My husband knows that is my dream, but no one else does! I find writing in any manner to be an outlet for me and I really enjoy it! Good luck with your writing and I'll be rooting you on to write YOUR book!!
China – BFF is Best Friend Forever. We kind of made fun of it because all the teenagers are using that lingo now, but it fits, so we use it all the time now!! LOL We're kids at heart!
avisannschild – Isn't it weird how we can convey our feelings by writing, but when tasked with speaking about it, we don't have a thing to say?! I'm not sure why that is! Now if someone could ask me a question and give me a little while to type up an answer and then I can read it back to them, I'd be in great shape!! LOL
Suzi – I'm with you on the secret fiction writing bit!!! My husband knows that is my dream, but no one else does! I find writing in any manner to be an outlet for me and I really enjoy it! Good luck with your writing and I'll be rooting you on to write YOUR book!!
Kirthi – I'm with you on the secret writing bit. I would love to join a local writing group or something just to keep me motivate to write, but it's such a personal endeavor and I'm very self-conscious about it! I don't want to show anyone what I've written! I completely understand that! Good luck with your writing!McBetty – Who is Beth Moore? It sounds like someone I should look up!! Yeah, I do think there is a lot of insecurity and not wanting to be made fun of or look silly. Those teenage insecurity emotions never really go away, do they?!Mash – I'm so glad your kids think your are COOL! That's awesome!
Sherry – I agree! I'm not ashamed of it – it's just personal and I do it for me and for those of you who actually want to read what I write! 
April – oh my gosh!! The same thing happened to me in high school. I was the quiet book girl! It made me really insecure, too!! I totally understand where you are coming from on that!! It's amazing what high school can do to a person!! I would never go back!Rob – welcome to the blogging world! I'm following you now!Shellie – Yes, I think the not understanding part is an issue also. Interesting thought!Vixen – LOL! I like being in the "secret society", too! And I burst out laughing at the husband comment about your moniker!! LOL 
Thanks for taking the time to comment!! You've all made some really interesting points and I didn't realize there were so many of us that were "secret bloggers"!!
Kirthi – I'm with you on the secret writing bit. I would love to join a local writing group or something just to keep me motivate to write, but it's such a personal endeavor and I'm very self-conscious about it! I don't want to show anyone what I've written! I completely understand that! Good luck with your writing!
McBetty – Who is Beth Moore? It sounds like someone I should look up!! Yeah, I do think there is a lot of insecurity and not wanting to be made fun of or look silly. Those teenage insecurity emotions never really go away, do they?!
Mash – I'm so glad your kids think your are COOL! That's awesome!
Sherry – I agree! I'm not ashamed of it – it's just personal and I do it for me and for those of you who actually want to read what I write!
April – oh my gosh!! The same thing happened to me in high school. I was the quiet book girl! It made me really insecure, too!! I totally understand where you are coming from on that!! It's amazing what high school can do to a person!! I would never go back!
Rob – welcome to the blogging world! I'm following you now!
Shellie – Yes, I think the not understanding part is an issue also. Interesting thought!
Vixen – LOL! I like being in the "secret society", too! And I burst out laughing at the husband comment about your moniker!! LOL
Thanks for taking the time to comment!! You've all made some really interesting points and I didn't realize there were so many of us that were "secret bloggers"!!
Jennifer, Beth Moore writes Bible study books and other books for women. Her most recent book published this month is So Long Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us. Her blog is starting a discussion group on this book athttp://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2010/02/so-long-insecurity-week-two.htmlSee the side-bar there for the discussion group.
I didn't tell everyone in my real life right away. But, of course, I blabbed to all of the Chicks on Lit right away and they were so supportive, it gave me the courage to out myself. I don't get a lot of comments from family and real life friends but they do check it out regularly and talk to me about it.
Jennifer, I doubt you intended this, but your post about book blogging inspired me for a non-book blog I write. Thanks for the writing prompt!My closet book blogging might end when I am more consistent with my book blog. I love the book blogging community, and want to be a more active participant supporting authors and sharing great stories.Here's the post you inspired: http://bonsvivantsblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/comments-lead-to-questions.html
I don't exactly keep it a secret but I don't go "Hey look at me" either. We share a computer at our house so I'm pretty sure it's not a huge secret to the people I live with.
I don't exactly keep it a secret but I don't go "Hey look at me" either. We share a computer at our house so I'm pretty sure it's not a huge secret to the people I live with.
Hi Jen, it's Amber, blast from the past! I don't have a book blog, because I work in publishing and could get in trouble for having one! But I love reading other people's and I was glad to discover yours. I do, however, have a food/recipe blog, linked here, which I'm not secretive about exactly, but I don't go out of my way to promote it either, though that's mainly because I am a terribly infrequent updater. I totally get that impulse, of not wanting to disappoint people, but your site is great, and I'm sure your real-life friends would be thrilled to read!
I'm a mix — some of my family knows I blog, but not many. And most of them (with the exception of my sister) don't read it. I like it better that way, I think. It's nice to have something a little bit to myself.
I'm a mix — some of my family knows I blog, but not many. And most of them (with the exception of my sister) don't read it. I like it better that way, I think. It's nice to have something a little bit to myself.
Oh my, what a wonderful post! I'm still relatively new to this whole book blogging business and when I started I was EXTREMELY insecure about it, it seemed that everybody already knew what they were doing and had a whole lot of followers and I felt that I in turn needed to have a whole lot of followers but at the same didn't want a whole lot because I didn't want anyone reading my blog! haha I actually contemplated deleting it a few times! LOL, now I have grown more comfortable about my blog and don't worry too much about people reading it. . . except for close family and friends, I tend to feel a bit self contious, but overall I'm very happy I took the plunge and made the blog and am happy that I still have it today! —- oh and by the way? the thing about being able to croon over a book on the blog but become tongue tied when you're face to face with a person? I am completely the same way!
Oh and I just discovered that my mum has subscribed by email to my blog, which means that theoretically she may be reading every single thing I post, which is kind of a scary thought! Not that I post anything super personal, but still, it feels a bit weird. Ah well. I think I'll just try to forget that she's reading everything I write!
I only starting blogging a few months ago, and it's just about all I want to talk about! My parents call and ask what I'm up to, my response is usually "Blogging." This is like a foreign language to them, as well as to most of my friends, so I keep my blogging to myself not because I want to, but because no one else cares!
This post made me giggle! I'm sort of a closet blogger too. My BFF & I started together but few friends, family etc know. I'd be nervous knowing someone I really knew actually read my blog, kinda weird eh?!
This post made me giggle! I'm sort of a closet blogger too. My BFF & I started together but few friends, family etc know. I'd be nervous knowing someone I really knew actually read my blog, kinda weird eh?!
I pretty much bore everyone I know in real life to tears with it now but to start with I was a bit quiet about it.
I am not a secret book blogger as such, but I do not tell people about my blog(s) either. My profile shows a real image of me (although from the back), and while people may not regognize me, it is also one of the profile images I use on FB, so should one of my FB friends stumble over any of my blogs, they would know it was me. I have thought about linking my blog(s) with FB, but something is keeping me from doing it. I also write for a living, and there are just some things that I don't want editors, other writers, journalists etc to see and judge from. And then there is the whole language thing, since I blog both in English and in Danish, which is my native tongue, and thus English posts tend to become a little less elegant than my Danish posts. So I am also thinking that blogging openly in English would be a drawback if applying for say a new job, and the prospective new boss seeks me out online and find Lou's Pages, written in clumsy English. But to sum it up, I am not really keeping my blogging a secret, and I am not ashamed about it, but on the other hand, I definitely does not advertize it either.
My blog isn't exactly a secret but I don't routinely tell others about it either. My family knows, but I don't think any of them read it. I was also hesitant about telling my family about my personal blog, which is really weird since it's about my family…but I think writing online can be a little less intimidating that saying something in person.